dreaming is a waste of time...

I really don't understand why things happen the way they do. I know I'm not a good person but damn..sometimes I wish I could just once have something I truly want. I've been thinking a lot about the stories we hear as kids. Well, girls mostly. Stories of prince charmings that will come along and sweep you off your feet and fall in love with you. I know it's a fantasy. It's not true. There aren't prince charmings and not every girl has someone who loves them. I think it's shitty though. I'm 32 years old and I'm alone. I hate it!!! You know they say looks aren't everything but that's a lie too. Sadly people judge based on looks and I'm being honest when I say I do too. I'll admit it. Of course I do know that I'm not pretty. I never said I was. So, I can sorta understand why I don't have a boyfriend. My best friend is beautiful and it astounds me that guys don't see how wonderful she is! I see it and I really want her to have someone as well. I'm sure she will soon. I have no doubt about that. It just sucks she is having to wait. I wish I didn't think Davey Havok was so amazing. Damn him and his beautiful eyes and addictive smile!! I know I'll never "meet" him either. I'm not stupid. He's not going to see me at a concert one day and think I'm worthy of his time. I'm just another fan. I don't live in the realm of delusion thinking that one day I'm going to get to talk to him. I live on the other side of the US! Not gonna happen. I'm so gonna end up as the old cat lady everyone hates. I'll probably die like the old cat lady on the episode of CSI by some kid. Yeah..that's promising. GRRR...I hate life sometimes. Other times it's great. Oh well...life isn't always fair and I know that too. It just sucks.